Do you need sound, Biblically-based advice on an issue in your marriage or family? To love is to embody God’s infinite love in a faithful communion with another human being. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. God knows the kind of heartache we face when we are unfaithful, and the kind of heartache we cause in those of we are supposed to love. If even when you’re chilling on the couch with your wife, you feel … God wants you to be in a relationship that is happy, healthy and glorifies Him. How Staying in an Unhappy Marriage Impacted My Mental Health I went through a trying period of self-reflection around 15 years ago when I realized my marriage was no longer working for me. All your time feels like alone time. 3. Let me be clear, God does not want anyone to stay in an environment where they are not safe —physically or emotionally. If it does, you are likely in an unhappy marriage. Instead of understanding God’s true purpose for marriage, we routinely view marriage based on what another person can do for us, what they can give us, and ultimately, how they make us feel about ourselves. Do you talk to your friends more than your spouse? Bottom line: The less you view your spouse as your savior and more as your companion on this journey of life, the more likely you are to pursue your own healing and growth. My encouragement to you is to deal with both issues in a forthright manner. Bottom line: If happiness is your primary expectation of marriage, you will most likely find yourself disillusioned and disappointed. Still, to get in the marriage salvage arena, you'll need to continue sharing basic values. Regarding marriage, Malachi 2: 15-16 (NIV) says, Has not the one God made you? 2. ‘I hate divorce,’ says the Lord God of Israel, ‘and I hate a man’s covering himself with violence as well as with his garment,’ says the Lord Almighty.". While the "D" word has entered your brain, unless you are in an abusive or affair-riddled marriage you should want to stick it out for God. The only way we will avoid an unhappy marriage is to not see marriage as a … Love is a very strong emotion. For the Sake of the Family. The levee has broken for this woman, and the flood waters are pouring into her troubled marriage. I have the highest respect for Christian counseling, but I think your "lose some weight and read a book together" solution is like trying to keep the New Orleans levees together with masking tape. If you choose to stay in an unhappy marriage, it’s a good idea seek counseling and resources for yourself and other family members. God wants what’s best for you, that’s why He wants you to stay married. California - Do Not Sell My Personal Information. Does God Want Me to Stay in an Unhappy Marriage? Amen. He owes his wife the allegiance of his wedding vows, which he took twenty years earlier, and Ann needs to confront him about his activities. God does not want you to live in fear of your husband. Consider talking to a Christian marriage counselor or a spiritual director. Pray. Take responsibility for your part in the conflict or dispute. Most marriages … When you roll your eyes more than a tween does at a bad dad joke and you respond to each other with sarcasm (no, not the funny John Oliver kind), your marriage might be in trouble, says Milhausen. Article Images Copyright ©. A successful marriage requires self-discipline and restraint. Do you fantasize about a future without your partner? When couples make society a witness of their marriage, they automatically take into … Now again we must look at this passage in light of the entirety of the Scriptures. Marriage is a spiritual reality. You think the kids are better off with you both married. I married someone who made believe he was a Christian right before I married him 11 years ago. How you respond and the choices you make have the power to change your marriage from unhappy to happier. I married him because we were living together, and we had a child. Biblical Advice on Marriage: Jesus Must Be Our Ultimate, Not Our Spouse. This means that the temptation you face of fantasizing about, and perhaps pursuing, your college sweetheart, is a dangerous path for you. Hopefully you’re not ready to … Sign #1 You Question Whether Your Partner Still Loves You. 6. Is it easier to focus on everything else but the relationship? God gives us hope—He desires for your marriage to be restored. The universal reason married men are unhappy is because the sexual dynamic in the relationship has changed after marriage. God wants you to be in a relationship that is happy, healthy and glorifies Him. This site is a proud member of the Salem Web Network, a subsidiary of, Copyright © 2020, Crosswalk.com. Dear Abba Father,        I long to know your healing in every area of my heart and in my marriage. Thank you for your courage in writing on a complicated and emotional issue. Of course, raising children , working full-time, or working opposite shifts than your spouse can all get in the way of making love. I have worked professionally with many couples where even the smallest hint of violence is enough to damage the fabric of their marriage. But one day you woke up and realized that you haven’t been happy in your marriage for a long time. There are several issues needing your attention. Remind yourself of these attributes throughout the day. After much deliberation with my inner voice, I decided it was time to go. The prophet Malachi has some important things to say concerning your situation. No. 4. And what does the one God seek? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. I have been married to my husband for twelve years. God wants you to solve the problems. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Pray for wisdom and humility to reach out for counseling to help you heal and grow together. Does this mean that God wants us to remain in an unhappy marriage? So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. She writes weekly at LisaMurrayOnline.com. He knows what happens when we take the smallest step of unfaithfulness, which usually leads to another, and another. This is one reason why God has such an interest in … Hi Kristin, I wanted to make sure you knew your post was important. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth. I’d like your opinion on this matter. 3. He has active practices in two Washington cities. He is not capricious in His affections toward us, nor does His love depend on favorable circumstances. I felt the right thing to do was to get married. Stick through the hard times and work on the tough issues. Rekindle respect, trust, admiration, and love for my spouse and draw us together into a deeper connection and intimacy with You. Period. ‘The man who hates and divorces his wife,’ says the Lord, the God of Israel, ‘does violence to the one he should protect,’ says the Lord Almighty. In fact, that may be the most faith-affirming thing one can do. 8. The job of marriage is to refine our dysfunction and spur us into progressive wholeness. If it does, you are likely in an unhappy marriage. Based on what Ann wrote about separate bedrooms and late evenings out, isn't there a possibility that this may also be a case of infidelity? Marriage Advice From A Christian Perspective, A Prayer to Finish 2020 with Wisdom - Your Daily Prayer - December 26, 10 Best Bible Study Tools Articles of 2020, 10 False Versions of Jesus People Are Falling For. Instead of changing our situation, He may want to change us -- to give us the patience and the inner strength we need to stay with it. 3 Reasons the 'Christmas Star' of 2020 Is Bringing So Much Hope, 10 Signs Your Marriage Is Built on Christ, Christmas Light Show Set To 'Mary Did You Know', Violinist Lindsey Stirling Performs 'Carol Of The Bells', 10 Ways to Sabotage Your Marriage (Without Realizing It), 5 Things Parents Should Know about "Soul", 9 Ways Grandparents Can Share Christmas This Year, Even from Far Away. Love and faithfulness meet together; righteousness and peace kiss each other. Do you often feel you have little to say to each other? Her passion is to encourage and empower individuals—whether in their hearts, their marriages, or their faith—to cultivate healing and wholeness that will awaken a heart of peace. You tried to make your marriage work and God does not want us to be hurt and abused. Father, let my unhappiness point me to You, Your healing, Your purpose for my life. Godly offspring. Two people on the brink of divorce, not because of abuse or infidelity, but because the relationship no longer makes them happy. Sex Does Change. In a HuffPost article, author and speaker, Tyler Ward, concludes that marriage is about personal reformation. Now again we must look at this passage in light of the entirety of the Scriptures. Help me always keep my expectation on You so that I can glorify you in my heart and in marriage. If you are in a bad marriage, the answer is not to dissolve the relationship, but to restore your relationship the way God restored our relationship with Him through Christ. God would never want me to be this unhappy for the rest of my life. He often jokes about leaving his wife. You should never feel obligated to go back to someone who physically hurts you or your child. 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